Utterly Disappointed!!!

All this time, messages that i was trying to push across, the efforts that i made or the unsatisfied moments that i tried to voice was all looked down to me being an angry and impatient person.

I am a fierce person who can't take nonsense, I am an impatient person who pushes others limits and if someone tries to talk to me, i would be fierce enough to eat them up alive. After all the efforts I've made, I'm being perceived so wrongly that i dont' even bother to clarify anything else anymore but to apologize for just the stupid and idiotic person i am.

Others are allowed to be EMO, others are allowed to be angry and in a bad mood but even at the verge of tears and anger i still need to be calm, patient and not show anger??? WHY??
Because if others can be at such moods, we as friends have to understand but if we are in such moods then we have to be alienated??? What happened to friends who understand EACH OTHER where friendships works TWO ways not one???
Why when i'm emo then others will ask me to CHILL AND LET GO instead of understand what position i stand in?

After telling me that speaking out is right, i still have to fulfill criterias before i BLOODY SPEAK OUT MY MIND???
criterias like RIGHT TIME, RIGHT PERSON, RIGHT TONE???

have you ever thought what it takes to open up and speak, and do you know how it feels when after saying so much, you realised at the end of the day others dont' get a damn thing you said. AND TO TOP IT ALL UP, after all of those you are being perceived as fierce, impatient and angry person. I guess it just makes one's day DAMN "good".

if there is anymore criterias please be kind enough to tell me before i eat another person alive.

SIGH~

I'm just utterly disappointed...