To keep it short and simple.
Results are out.
I'm not happy about it.
It has caused a lot of guilt within.
I know it's bothering me but i just don't want it to affect me.
Flashes of images are coming out in my mind about how will it be when i get back home next weekend.
No idea.
Worried.
Short and simple enough i believe.
Thank You
11/30/07
Horoscopes..
Today... overall a good day, did window shopping and scouted for furnitures, now just have to let good old daddy decide what he wants =) ..
After a few hours of scouting we decided to head back home .. avoid spending money outside.. =)
Hopped on the train with Shu Yunn to head back home and decided to read some newspapers.. As usual, my favourite is to slowly flip to the page where Sudoku and Horoscope readings are and then paused there and never moved on towards other pages.. today was no other...
While i read the horoscope, I found something rather ironic and just weird the way they spoke about today..
To you Mr. Pisces,
It says...
"The quality of relationships is determined by the time invested in them. Pick out people whose company you enjoy and focus on their needs or interests. Happiness comes from giving as much as receiving".
To me Ms. Virgo,
It says...
"As much as you dislike disruption, sudden developments work to your advantage. The moon in your sign favours acts of faith over analysis as the way forwards this weekend. Also, someone supportive could leave a lasting impression".
Though i don't know much about whether mine is true, but just as i was having thoughts of something similar to disruption when i read that, it was just.. weird...
And plus knowing the situation you're in where decisions have to be made, when i read your horoscope readings today.. it also felt ... weird....
As much as i find it weird in both of our readings, I guess it does make sense also in some kind of a weird way.
What do u think?
After a few hours of scouting we decided to head back home .. avoid spending money outside.. =)
Hopped on the train with Shu Yunn to head back home and decided to read some newspapers.. As usual, my favourite is to slowly flip to the page where Sudoku and Horoscope readings are and then paused there and never moved on towards other pages.. today was no other...
While i read the horoscope, I found something rather ironic and just weird the way they spoke about today..
To you Mr. Pisces,
It says...
"The quality of relationships is determined by the time invested in them. Pick out people whose company you enjoy and focus on their needs or interests. Happiness comes from giving as much as receiving".
To me Ms. Virgo,
It says...
"As much as you dislike disruption, sudden developments work to your advantage. The moon in your sign favours acts of faith over analysis as the way forwards this weekend. Also, someone supportive could leave a lasting impression".
Though i don't know much about whether mine is true, but just as i was having thoughts of something similar to disruption when i read that, it was just.. weird...
And plus knowing the situation you're in where decisions have to be made, when i read your horoscope readings today.. it also felt ... weird....
As much as i find it weird in both of our readings, I guess it does make sense also in some kind of a weird way.
What do u think?
11/29/07
Your tactfulness has caused damaged!
Has it every occur to u that i'm also human that i sometimes have emotions and i'm not always happy. when u haven't spoken to me for so long, instead of asking "how are you"
you asked "when are you coming back" well i suddenly see the bright light that may shine upon me that u still care.. boy was i wrong!!!~
While i said i'm only coming back next weekend and i jokingly said "why? missing me already!" you harshly just said "you wish!~" the fact that u're being tactful already hurts and plus i wasn't in a good mood you just totally bruised me!~
Is it so hard to be nice to me? Have i done something so wrong to deserve your treatment this way? What's wrong with you?
It's a bad full stop to the end of today and u just pushed me even further and deeper into the gloom..
I wished i could cry when i felt like it but i just couldn't get it out of my system.. it's all reacting funny instead by the tingles on my body and the aches of my body.. goodness me.. (if YOU happen to read this, dont' worry it's not because of you that i could feel that down, YOU are seriously not worth my time anymore.. you just happened to make me feel worse than i already am feeling right now)
Being tactful is just NOT nice!~
you asked "when are you coming back" well i suddenly see the bright light that may shine upon me that u still care.. boy was i wrong!!!~
While i said i'm only coming back next weekend and i jokingly said "why? missing me already!" you harshly just said "you wish!~" the fact that u're being tactful already hurts and plus i wasn't in a good mood you just totally bruised me!~
Is it so hard to be nice to me? Have i done something so wrong to deserve your treatment this way? What's wrong with you?
It's a bad full stop to the end of today and u just pushed me even further and deeper into the gloom..
I wished i could cry when i felt like it but i just couldn't get it out of my system.. it's all reacting funny instead by the tingles on my body and the aches of my body.. goodness me.. (if YOU happen to read this, dont' worry it's not because of you that i could feel that down, YOU are seriously not worth my time anymore.. you just happened to make me feel worse than i already am feeling right now)
Being tactful is just NOT nice!~
11/28/07
Tonnes on my mind
Woke up this morning with tonnes on my mind, I've gotten the good news that the Occupancy Permit has been released, which means we're moving into the new apartment on time.. Which also in other words means that we're going to be really busy next week. I'm thinking of a way to do stuff this week first before anybody comes next week then we could just concentrate on moving. Meaning in other words, I've got to look for steam cleaning services, transfer my lines and also cancel my water supply account for this unit this week. hmmmm Where to start looking...
I've packed most of my stuff and just have to wait to transfer from one unit to the other..i better do a checklist ..
=)
I've packed most of my stuff and just have to wait to transfer from one unit to the other..i better do a checklist ..
=)
11/27/07
Gyn gyn ... Hates Needles...
I went for my appointment this morning and realised that i've gotten the time wrong and had to wait till noon to see the doctor. and unfortunately to my liking i had to see a male doctor for my rashes.. while waiting to see the doctor i managed to play the piano for a while and had great quality time with the piano =) there after i met Shu Yunn for lunch and we did a little bit of shopping before I had to go see the doctor..throughout the whole outing and quality time the thought of howing my rash to the doctor just ..ugh.. (hate it) ..
Arrived slightly before my appointment time, was literally feeling just tired while waiting for the doctor. When finally it was my turn.. the doctor didn't wanted to give me some cream or some sort to cure the rash.. instead he suggested blood test to see whether i had any infections or something like tat... I am very very phobic towards needles.. or rather i'm extremely phobic towards needles.. I rejected the first offer, then after realising i'm not going to get some sort of cure for my rash other than taking antihistamine pills which i already did before seeing the doctor i said YES :(
the doctor clearly said that i would come back the next day for blood test, unfortunately again that the nurse said she'll do it today for me..
GOODNESS me.. i thought i could handle it by myself, I was SOO wrong.. i'm known to have small veins and hard to draw blood due to pass experiences, this is not good at all. STarted out with my left arm, the injected me and realise the blood is not flowing out smoothly, only filled a quarter of both tubes.. and because it was inefficient they had to switch arm.. She pulled out the needle without warning.. i actually .. almost almost screamed... Then out of the blue everything around me was turning.. the next minute i know i was lying on the floor of the clinic with my legs up..
The nurse knew tat if she let me go home and rest and come back the next day for more.. i would stress over it and it will get worse.. so we decided to get through with it one and for all.. but this time i lied down while she drew blood... luckily the second time was ok and they managed to draw the amount of blood they wanted....
i hate needles and i'm very afraid of them.. came back feeling drained.. took almost a 2 hour nap. woke out without appetite and rested early becuase i was also feeling very drained.. Yunn did mentioned that i really did look like a patient last nite.lolz..
Just to draw blood for rashes.. this is the first time.. and it better be ok..
Arrived slightly before my appointment time, was literally feeling just tired while waiting for the doctor. When finally it was my turn.. the doctor didn't wanted to give me some cream or some sort to cure the rash.. instead he suggested blood test to see whether i had any infections or something like tat... I am very very phobic towards needles.. or rather i'm extremely phobic towards needles.. I rejected the first offer, then after realising i'm not going to get some sort of cure for my rash other than taking antihistamine pills which i already did before seeing the doctor i said YES :(
the doctor clearly said that i would come back the next day for blood test, unfortunately again that the nurse said she'll do it today for me..
GOODNESS me.. i thought i could handle it by myself, I was SOO wrong.. i'm known to have small veins and hard to draw blood due to pass experiences, this is not good at all. STarted out with my left arm, the injected me and realise the blood is not flowing out smoothly, only filled a quarter of both tubes.. and because it was inefficient they had to switch arm.. She pulled out the needle without warning.. i actually .. almost almost screamed... Then out of the blue everything around me was turning.. the next minute i know i was lying on the floor of the clinic with my legs up..
The nurse knew tat if she let me go home and rest and come back the next day for more.. i would stress over it and it will get worse.. so we decided to get through with it one and for all.. but this time i lied down while she drew blood... luckily the second time was ok and they managed to draw the amount of blood they wanted....
i hate needles and i'm very afraid of them.. came back feeling drained.. took almost a 2 hour nap. woke out without appetite and rested early becuase i was also feeling very drained.. Yunn did mentioned that i really did look like a patient last nite.lolz..
Just to draw blood for rashes.. this is the first time.. and it better be ok..
11/26/07
Aimless but Stress
Good morning~ The sun is bright and shiny today and i's a good day to get out of the house. Unfortunately, initial plans are cancelled so hopefully i'll be able to book the piano room =)
Nothing much is going on lately, just plain boredom and i've become a couch potato, just watching tv everyday. Lately, my rashes are getting worse, showed my mum last night, she asked me to see the doctor straight away. So.. good girl me, made an appointment to see the doctor tomorrow morning. hehe.. Hopefully it's alright, I think it's no biggie just maybe stress over the release of results. My dad and grandpa will be coming to Aussie soon to help us move apartment and this time around a close friend decided to join us too. All the upcoming happy events are arriving and yet i fear that if my results are bad, it would not be all that happy. Ugh~ Results please please please be good. Seems like some people around me has already broke down because of the upcoming release of results. Hope everything is going to turn out right. Now i'm wondering what in the right mind made me take 4 core subjects last sem.Sigh~ I dread for that day =(
Another aimless day, in Melbourne.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Someone just commented i flirt when i was just honestly wishing good luck and all the best from the heart. Rather disappointed. When things are at this point, there really isn't much to flirt about. My mood just dropped zero all of a sudden.
Why I let you affect me? Why ?
There's always been a struggle within, and i don't know how to speak it out. Am currently at crossroads. Too many of them..Sigh
My rashes outbreak is definitely due to overloading stress. No need to see doctor.. sigh~
Nothing much is going on lately, just plain boredom and i've become a couch potato, just watching tv everyday. Lately, my rashes are getting worse, showed my mum last night, she asked me to see the doctor straight away. So.. good girl me, made an appointment to see the doctor tomorrow morning. hehe.. Hopefully it's alright, I think it's no biggie just maybe stress over the release of results. My dad and grandpa will be coming to Aussie soon to help us move apartment and this time around a close friend decided to join us too. All the upcoming happy events are arriving and yet i fear that if my results are bad, it would not be all that happy. Ugh~ Results please please please be good. Seems like some people around me has already broke down because of the upcoming release of results. Hope everything is going to turn out right. Now i'm wondering what in the right mind made me take 4 core subjects last sem.Sigh~ I dread for that day =(
Another aimless day, in Melbourne.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Someone just commented i flirt when i was just honestly wishing good luck and all the best from the heart. Rather disappointed. When things are at this point, there really isn't much to flirt about. My mood just dropped zero all of a sudden.
Why I let you affect me? Why ?
There's always been a struggle within, and i don't know how to speak it out. Am currently at crossroads. Too many of them..Sigh
My rashes outbreak is definitely due to overloading stress. No need to see doctor.. sigh~
11/25/07
11/24/07
Results =(
Results are coming out soon in a few days, I'M REALLY NOT EXCITED ABOUT IT...
In less than a week, my results will tell me exactly what have i been up to during the semester and for that i'm afraid of it. This semester i've challenged myself to take all 4 core subjects and now i will have to sit and wait for the consequences of my decisions... sigh~
I think becuase of all the nerves that are breaking down before me, my skin is getting bad, rashes on my arms are just weird, I've not have this before and am always having gastric. Goodness me... there's a contradicting feeling that i want it to come out a.s.a.p so that i can get it over and done with it and another feeling is that just dont' let me know my results..
sigh~ Pls pray for the results to be alright, I can't take another heart breaking results again...
In less than a week, my results will tell me exactly what have i been up to during the semester and for that i'm afraid of it. This semester i've challenged myself to take all 4 core subjects and now i will have to sit and wait for the consequences of my decisions... sigh~
I think becuase of all the nerves that are breaking down before me, my skin is getting bad, rashes on my arms are just weird, I've not have this before and am always having gastric. Goodness me... there's a contradicting feeling that i want it to come out a.s.a.p so that i can get it over and done with it and another feeling is that just dont' let me know my results..
sigh~ Pls pray for the results to be alright, I can't take another heart breaking results again...
....
Your seriousness has taken me aback, I didn't know what i said will pressure you this much. I keep telling you that for now put yourself ahead of others, think of exams before anything else but it seems that i've made you think.
I must admit that i've not seen this side of you before, so serious all of a sudden. But i want you to know that there is really no rush into all this as it will just get messy. It's not that i will run away, I will wait patiently for decisions being made and no matter what is it I'm sure your decisions are being respected.
Take time out for yourself, i know it's too heavy of a burden on your shoulders.
I'm sorry for putting you through this..
I must admit that i've not seen this side of you before, so serious all of a sudden. But i want you to know that there is really no rush into all this as it will just get messy. It's not that i will run away, I will wait patiently for decisions being made and no matter what is it I'm sure your decisions are being respected.
Take time out for yourself, i know it's too heavy of a burden on your shoulders.
I'm sorry for putting you through this..
11/22/07
This is all i need to know for now =)
No matter what will happen, no matter what is next for me.
Whatever you said today is all i need to know for now..
Live your life first .. do what you think it's important before making decisions.
For now, put yourself ahead of others =)
Love always.
A fine line.
Last night owee spent the night at my place, as usual when we bunk at each other's place, we'll end up speaking our hearts out.
My room became a space without secrets..
There is a line she said that i think it makes a lot of sense..
" There is a fine line between love and responsibilities"
Do you think it make sense?
My room became a space without secrets..
There is a line she said that i think it makes a lot of sense..
" There is a fine line between love and responsibilities"
Do you think it make sense?
Want to dine with gyn gyn again?
Last night, I had some friends over for dinner as they're graduating soon and we're no longer going to hang out like this anymore. So i've decided to cook up a meal. Despite that i was trying new recipes but it all turned out good. Because of that, i'm so on top of the world now =)
GOOD FOOD~~
Welcome to dine with gyngyn again =)
The grocery i bought yesterday was at least as heavy as my luggage to gold coast. lolz
LOOK!~
Then comes dinner that night.
On the menu was
1.Mash potatoes
2. Tuna and Macaroni Mornay
3. Roast Chicken with stuffings
4. Salad
5. Mango Cheesecake..
Out of 5 dishes, 3 were new recipes and it all turned out good and my friends enjoyed it.. SO HAPPY!!~
The picture above i've already cut the roast chicken into pieces ady =) Drooling yet people??? :P
Here comes the Mango Cheesecake first attempt in process..
When it's being served.... YUMMMMM~~~~ it was finished on the spot.
I had satisfied friends last night so i'm glad =) ..
Dine with me once again~
11/20/07
It's raining outside
It's raining outside and because i'm feeling this way, the rain has expressed my current emotion. Down.
Hopefully after the rain there will be clear skies filled with stars where it shines and brightens up every corners.
Hopefully after the rain there will be clear skies filled with stars where it shines and brightens up every corners.
相思病
I miss the time we communicate almost everyday.
I miss the times we laugh together
I miss to hear you laugh, speak and just being you
I miss having you around
I do not know why but i just can't help but placing you at the back of my head
Every first thing in the morning and the last at night you've taken a space.
How can i do what i want and not pressure you at the same time?
How can you be yourself and not be pressured at the same time?
What can i do to know what you're thinking?
I really wish you were here next to me with no regrets
However, no matter how selfish i want to be
I want you to be happy.
Everything is now out in the open and it's obvious
But how to avoid regrets at the end of the day?
I know i rather feel regret from trying than to regret not trying
But to regret not trying might be a safer bet than regret trying
Because to the very least you're still my friend.
Gyin Gyin's little thoughts has wandered off so far that she can't help herself for thinking of the odds.
Because every move that gyn gyn made so far are risks
And every risk she has created she fears that she will lose you along the way.
Sigh~
I miss the times we laugh together
I miss to hear you laugh, speak and just being you
I miss having you around
I do not know why but i just can't help but placing you at the back of my head
Every first thing in the morning and the last at night you've taken a space.
How can i do what i want and not pressure you at the same time?
How can you be yourself and not be pressured at the same time?
What can i do to know what you're thinking?
I really wish you were here next to me with no regrets
However, no matter how selfish i want to be
I want you to be happy.
Everything is now out in the open and it's obvious
But how to avoid regrets at the end of the day?
I know i rather feel regret from trying than to regret not trying
But to regret not trying might be a safer bet than regret trying
Because to the very least you're still my friend.
Gyin Gyin's little thoughts has wandered off so far that she can't help herself for thinking of the odds.
Because every move that gyn gyn made so far are risks
And every risk she has created she fears that she will lose you along the way.
Sigh~
GynGyn's BACK!~
Hello everybody, i'm back from the holidays and now back into blogging and updates of what has been going on off late.... kewl~~~ .hehee
From the 8th of Nov till the 19th of Nov, WE ( yunn, fang, owee, sara, lern, hui san, halley and i) the group of 8 of us has started our holidays at Gold Coast. Awesome place to go to.. nothing but fun fun fun fun and fun~~~ the 10 days of travelling caused me burns..lolz.. under the sun all day .. sun burnt.. ouch ouch ouch...
Within this few days, we've saw Gold Coast, Brisbane and also Sydney and all we used was our favourite No.11 to explore.. good fun.
This trip as expected brought good memories and gave our holidays a good start and a good full stop to Yunn's life in University in Australia. Now she will prepare to walk into a new society and face new challenges.. All the best to her upcomings and i know for sure she'll do very well....
There is so much to talk about the trip and i dont' know where to start. Anyhow, the trip has ended and now life's back to reality.
11/4/07
11/1/07
Signals!~
Signals, what do they do?
Version 1.0
Let's see, i've been..
1. Sleeping
2. Watching TV
3. You-tubing
4. Singing
5. Day dreaming
5 signals of the day which DOES NOT show that i'm having a paper tomorrow morning.
It is usually like that when i have an open book exam, i usually take it for granted and definitely will regret tomorrow. I know what's going to happen tomorrow and yet i am not studying and planning to go to bed. I guess it just signals that open book exams are like that :p
Version 2.0
Let's see..
1. I've got alot of things going on in my mind today. It's been a mixture of exams, trip, internship, summer school and moving apartment. TIRED~
2. Internet is such a great thing that sometimes you get unwanted information that you can't digest. The problem is sometimes you find information that you want to digest but you have no further source, which is also a frust. HOW?
3. OS [ Gyin, does it ever occur to you that you have a paper tomorrow morning? Either you go to bed now or continue studying... ]
4. I'm poisoned, here, there, everywhere.....
Now, what does all those means? I have no idea, there are so much things in my mind that i just can't wait to list them all down and cross them out when they're all over becuase i'm getting terrible headaches because of those.
Like this afternoon itself, hearing Zoe and Faith speak, for the first time it felt like i can't control myself but i can't react to what they're saying, I could just feel my heart beat beating out loud and i just had to go home after lunch to sleep.
I'm exhausted.. help gyn..
Gyn gyn very daring not studying today and going to sit for a paper tomorrow morning..
sigh~
Version 1.0
Let's see, i've been..
1. Sleeping
2. Watching TV
3. You-tubing
4. Singing
5. Day dreaming
5 signals of the day which DOES NOT show that i'm having a paper tomorrow morning.
It is usually like that when i have an open book exam, i usually take it for granted and definitely will regret tomorrow. I know what's going to happen tomorrow and yet i am not studying and planning to go to bed. I guess it just signals that open book exams are like that :p
Version 2.0
Let's see..
1. I've got alot of things going on in my mind today. It's been a mixture of exams, trip, internship, summer school and moving apartment. TIRED~
2. Internet is such a great thing that sometimes you get unwanted information that you can't digest. The problem is sometimes you find information that you want to digest but you have no further source, which is also a frust. HOW?
3. OS [ Gyin, does it ever occur to you that you have a paper tomorrow morning? Either you go to bed now or continue studying... ]
4. I'm poisoned, here, there, everywhere.....
Now, what does all those means? I have no idea, there are so much things in my mind that i just can't wait to list them all down and cross them out when they're all over becuase i'm getting terrible headaches because of those.
Like this afternoon itself, hearing Zoe and Faith speak, for the first time it felt like i can't control myself but i can't react to what they're saying, I could just feel my heart beat beating out loud and i just had to go home after lunch to sleep.
I'm exhausted.. help gyn..
Gyn gyn very daring not studying today and going to sit for a paper tomorrow morning..
sigh~
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